GRANNY ENCHANTED'S BLOG: Fay Klingler

Showing posts with label Fay Klingler. Show all posts

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Day 7 with Fay: Encouraging Appreciation of Heritage

In September, my husband and I were blessed to visit New England, a long-sought after vacation. I had learned a few of my ancestors arrived in America on the 1620 Mayflower, settling in Plymouth, Massachusetts. I wanted to see and learn more about the area where they lived.

Celebrated Author

Fay Klingler

I was in awe to learn of their courage, industry, and stamina. I wanted to share some of what I learned with my grandchildren so they might appreciate their roots. After all, don’t we attempt to program our grandchildren for success by noticing their good works and reminding them they are strong and worthy? We want to inspire them to know they are more capable than they ever thought possible. We give hugs and make comments like, “I know that was hard for you, but look how well that turned out!”

With the Thanksgiving season upon us, I chose to take some of what I learned about our ancestors and put it in a small, easy-to-print pamphlet that I could mail to each of my grandchildren—a pamphlet with their individual names linked with our family heroes of the past. I included pictures from my trip to Plymouth.

Every one of us has a number of heroes in our family. One may have fought for religious freedom, another his or her country’s independence. Do we talk about our ancestry (or current-time heroes) and what they gave up to choose the right? When we share those real-life stories with our grandchildren, we empower them to stand up to their own challenges, for they recognize those strong character traits to be a part of themselves. We teach them that those traits of courage, kindness, and integrity run through their veins!

I took these ideas from my book The LDS Grandparents’ Idea Book, published by Deseret Book. http://www.amazon.com/LDS-Grandparents-Idea-Book-ebook/dp/B00HCN9FPE/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1446501153&sr=8-3&keywords=fay+klingler

Fay A. Klingler is the author of the best-selling book The LDS Grandparents’ Idea Book, I Am Strong! I Am Smart! and many other books and articles (www.fayklingler.com). She can be contacted on her Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/FayKlingler.

Read more guest Granny articles from Fay:

Day 1 11/09/2015
Day 2 11/10/2015
Day 3 11/11/2015

Day 4 11/12/2015
Day 5 11/13/2015
Day 6 11/14/2015
Day 7 11/15/2015

DOWNLOAD HERE

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Day 6 with Fay: Empowered to Make a Difference!

Grandparenting can be hard work and extremely fulfilling, or take no time or effort and be of little consequence. Each of us can enjoy the former if we are empowered by our desire to make a difference in the lives of our children and grandchildren.

Celebrated Author

Fay Klingler

My mother continues to set a standard for our family, even in her advancing years. She is 94 years old, yet she still works hard to teach and guide me by showing the path to follow. Like me, she is not perfect, but I’ve noticed the effort she makes to keep her word. Whenever she tells me she will do something, I’ve felt a guarantee it would be done, barring any extreme emergency. Although time has always been a challenge for me, I mean fitting everything I want to do into each twenty-four-hour period, I’ve tried to follow my mother’s powerful pattern in my parenting and grandparenting.

I love to do so many things! If I’m not careful my “things” get in the way of having time to spend with “my people”—my children and grandchildren. So I try to parcel myself out, like my parents did, to enjoy activities and events with my family. Like my parents, who scheduled activities in advance so what was important to them—family—would not get lost in their busy lifestyles, my husband and I look at the calendar and purposely plan family events so contact happens regardless of other events and happenings in our lives. For those who live away from our area, we make contact with special holiday packages, phone calls, and letters.

Some time ago, a few members of our family booked with me a date on the calendar for a mountain hike. As that date drew near, my personal calendar was packed with things that had to be done at work and home. I guess I could have called the participating members and told them I was just too busy, but I thought of my mother and how she never let me down. I became determined to keep my word. I decided to clear my mind of work and enjoy the time with family.

As it turned out, due to illness, only one daughter-in-law and two grandchildren ended up going on the hike with me. We packed food and water and put on sun screen. We helped the two-year-old pack her pockets after her pebble gathering. We pointed out the blue, pink, and white flowers to the hefty one-year-old. We sang songs, greeted an old bull moose, and felt rewarded by the beautiful view of a mountain lake high in the hills. All in all, it was a day well worth remembering for young and old. To keep that remembrance for the little ones, I laminated one of the pictures from our hike and mailed one each to the participating grandchildren. That way they could carry the pictures around and remember that fun day with Grandma! That is the reward of planning ahead and following through with a schedule.

Spontaneity and bond-building cannot be underestimated either. The day following the hike, one of our sons came early in the morning to help us with some yard work, trimming pyracantha bushes with my husband and lifting pavers from the truck for a rock garden I was creating. Later in the day, we received a phone call from another son offering assistance. What a wonderful surprise when the second son brought with him three of our grandchildren, all prepared with gloves and energy to help their grandma dig dirt and plant stones and flowers while their father helped his brother and my husband trim the bushes. What good workers and delightful companions for this tired woman! We worked. We talked. We ate ice cream and laughed together. That is the reward of being open to spontaneous opportunities to spend time together.

It’s all about time and keeping your word, whether scheduled or not . . .

I hope to travel down life’s road following my parents’ tire tracks. My father is gone now. He passed away a few months ago at age 96. When I reach my nineties, I want to be like my parents—respected and loved for their example of living a good life and prioritizing time for family.

Read more guest Granny articles from Fay:

Day 1 11/09/2015
Day 2 11/10/2015
Day 3 11/11/2015

Day 4 11/12/2015
Day 5 11/13/2015
Day 6 11/14/2015
Day 7 11/15/2015

You've been waiting for today's freebie, I know. Thank you, Fay for a lovely article.

We appreciate your wisdom!

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Friday, November 13, 2015

Day 5 with Fay: Thinking it Through

Recently I was thumbing through my book A Woman’s Power and paused at the chapter titled “Supporting Each Other.” In the chapter, I wrote about an associate who contacted me for advice. After listening intently to her concerns, and knowing our every action starts with a thought, my response was a suggestion she write a goal she could read to herself every day, one that would settle her thinking on the positive. As I thought about that advice and writing this brief article for today’s post on grannyenchanted.com, I realized my advice fit perfectly for grandparenting/parenting.

Celebrated Author

Fay Klingler

So I wrote a goal for myself about what I wanted to accomplish as a grandparent.

I love our family—our children and grandchildren. I believe our children should have the opportunity to grow by rearing their own children. However, in times of need, I offer assistance—babysitting, food, transportation, advice (when asked for), and money (in a crisis). I pay attention to our children’s skills and gifts and continue to learn from them as we support each other. In addition, I plan activities to gather our family for fun times that bond the generations and provides a sense of security for the grandchildren. Periodically I also plan activities to share what I have learned with our grandchildren.

The act of thinking it through and writing it down was helpful, but I knew reading it every day and honestly pondering it would continue to benefit me. I wanted the reminder to be quick to read so I whittled it down to the following.

I love our family.

I assist in times of need.

I plan activities for our family to bond and learn.

We support each other.

Then I printed my simple reminder on cardstock, glued a thin magnet to the back, and placed it on the refrigerator by the stove where I would see it each day.

Read more guest Granny articles from Fay:

Day 1 11/09/2015
Day 2 11/10/2015
Day 3 11/11/2015

Day 4 11/12/2015
Day 5 11/13/2015
Day 6 11/14/2015
Day 7 11/15/2015

Fay used our free greeting card printable for her affirmation:

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Day 4: Grandmothers Don't Give Up

Sometime ago, during a visit to our home, one of our daughters-in-law seemed despondent when she said, “I just can’t seem to be good enough. Do enough. Be enough.” I recognized that feeling, having felt it myself many times.

I responded with a sentiment I’ve learned over time. I said, “You’re doing your best, aren’t you? No one can expect more of themselves than to do their best with the knowledge they have.”

Celebrated Author Fay Klingler

In grandparenting, as our families increase in number, that feeling of not being good enough, doing enough, or being enough comes easily. There just seems to be soooooooooooo many bases to cover. Yet for some grandparents the experience is the flip side. The bases are silent. Their children (with their families) move far away, or for some other reason become distanced and choose to leave the grandparents out of the activity of their lives. Either way—overwhelmed with our families or rejected by them—it becomes easy to question our worth.

What really matters? As grandparents, how can we be good enough, do enough, be enough? This post gives one concrete answer to that question and then lists a few idea suggestions.

The one concrete answer to the “enough” question is to not give up; do our best with the knowledge we have and keep on trying.

Now with that said, here are a few idea suggestions.

If you fall in the category of being overwhelmed with too many bases to cover:

1. Set goals. Plan ahead with goals for yourself, goals to accomplish with your family, and (very important) goals to accomplish with your spouse. In your goal planning, pay attention to your limits. Not just your physical limits, but your emotional limits as well. Be reasonable. Pace yourself.

2. Communicate. When events or situations come up where you cannot be in two places at once, express your feelings of love and concern, joy and appreciation. If you are in a position to do so, make a conciliatory offer. “Betty, I am so sorry you are not feeling well today. I am concerned about you. How about my coming to visit you tomorrow? Will two o’clock work out well, or will you be napping?”

3. Recognize happiness. You cannot be racing from here to there constantly and feel peace. Your spirit needs some semblance of quiet time to recognize and feel happiness. Stop. Breathe. Sit on the porch steps or in your front room rocker. Slow your mind down. Calm your soul and notice the many beauties that surround you—the brilliant colors of summer or the gentle falling snowflakes of winter—and adopt the attitude of gratitude.

If you fall in the category of being distanced from your family:

1. Take the initiative. When it is not alienation that has distanced you, just busyness, be the one to reach out. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you go visit them. You call to see how they are. You write letters and send simple packages to the grandchildren. You be the one to take the time to find out about and attend their activities—sports, music, school, church. Do it. Regardless of whether your family reciprocates, do your part to reach out with love.

2. Learn something new. Further study an old (or new) interest or hobby. Start a club—book club, sewing club, cooking club, compassionate service club . . .

3. Embrace positive friendships. Realize the full benefits of spending time with people who enjoy the same things you do, those with the same values. Choose individuals you can trust to keep confidences. Then if you feel overwhelmed, you can dump and diffuse the negative through your trusted friends.

4. Choose to be happy. Do away with old patterns and habits that remind you of sadness and past regrets. Exchange them with patterns of gratitude. Let go and smile with the happiness of life.

When we focus on our blessings rather than on what we lack, more days become filled with joy rather than doubt and questioning. We can, indeed, be good enough, do enough, and be enough!

Read more guest Granny articles from Fay:

Day 1 11/09/2015
Day 2 11/10/2015
Day 3 11/11/2015

Day 4 11/12/2015
Day 5 11/13/2015
Day 6 11/14/2015
Day 7 11/15/2015

Thank you, Fay! When my children were young I really struggled with self esteem issues and worries about not being enough. Those struggles fogged up my view of our little family and kept me from being able to fully enjoy the miracle of family that was all around me. This is some wonderful advice! ~Sheryl

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Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Day 3 with Fay: Connecting with your Grandchildren

As grandparents, we love to remain connected to and involved with our families. My post yesterday presented five ideas for grandparents to gather with their families when grandchildren live close by. Today’s post gives five ideas to share your heart with grandchildren who live far away. Each idea is presented from a different individual. (Of course you saw the insider information note from yesterday’s post. So you know the truth of that statement!)

Celebrated Author

Fay Klingler

1. I make postcards on my computer for every season to mail to all of my grandchildren, whether they live close by or in another state or country. They enjoy getting a personal card in the mail from their grandma.

2. My grandchildren live in another state. Since they are in year-round schools, they have a week of vacation in the fall. That has proven to be a wonderful time for a visit. They live in a part of the country where the seasons run together, and so the children wouldn’t otherwise see the fall colors on the trees. At that time of year there is a lot of work to be done in preparation for the coming winter. My grandson loves the out-of-doors and is right by my side as we harvest the last of the garden vegetables. He counts the potatoes, the carrots, and the onions as we dig them and wash them with the garden hose. Then he “helps” with the cooking and just beams when we serve the vegetables for dinner. We are not only building happy, lasting memories; we are fostering an appreciation for a strong body and teaching our grandson how to work.

3. I have a nice scrapbook filled exclusively with drawings by my grandchildren—drawings of Grandpa. Each year, in the fall, I ask each of them to draw a portrait of their Grandpa. They write their names on the pictures, and we date them and put them in the scrapbook. We have been doing this for seven years now. It is really fun to look through the drawings and see how Grandpa has changed! [Grandchildren, regardless of where they live, could easily contribute to such a scrapbook. Then, at family reunion time, the scrapbook could take center stage with everyone enjoying all the entries.]

4. Some of my grandchildren live far away from me. To help keep in touch, I made up some stationery on my computer for them to use. I chose the kind of ball (football, soccer ball, tennis ball, baseball, etc.) they enjoy playing with and printed it on both the paper and on the envelopes. I wrote their own return addresses and my address on the envelopes and affixed the postage, then sent them a supply with a request they write to me.

5. I use my color printer and heavy paper to make a personalized jigsaw puzzle. I print a picture of a teddy bear (or some other cute image) with a message in large print, such as: “I miss you,” or “Someone loves you.” I cut the picture into puzzle pieces and put them in a reclosable plastic bag and mail them to my grandchildren who live far away.

Read more guest Granny articles from Fay:

Day 1 11/09/2015
Day 2 11/10/2015
Day 3 11/11/2015

Day 4 11/12/2015
Day 5 11/13/2015
Day 6 11/14/2015
Day 7 11/15/2015

Thank you, Fay, for this wonderful article. My grandmother would send me brown paper packages wrapped up with string. I always felt special when they came. Children so seldom receive mail. I went on a hunt for you, to find gorgeous, printable post cards and KnickOfTime.Net did not disappoint! Follow the below image link to download their darling printables.

And I didn't stop there. Talk about making Grannies look good! Thank you "Free Pretty Things for You!"

Free vintage altered art Baby postcards By FPTFY

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Day 2 with Fay: Draw Your Family Close with These Great Activity Ideas

As grandparents, some of us have endless opportunities to gather our families for fun times. Today’s post lists five ideas focused around Thanksgiving. Each idea is presented from a different individual. Tomorrow’s post will give ideas to share your heart with grandchildren who live far away.

Celebrated Author Fay Klingler

1. My parents sponsored a treasure hunt in the desert. It was at Thanksgiving time. We gathered there to cook a turkey in a pit my dad had dug in the sand, but the treasure hunt could be held anytime of the year. We all got involved. We parents helped the younger grandchildren. The clues were clever and led us on quite a hike. I guess you could use any theme, but my parents used “Thankfulness” and “Family Preparedness” for theirs. I can still see our children running around with their cousins, giggling and having fun.

2. You could have a family spelling bee at one of your family activities. Just the grandchildren would participate, of course. The words to spell might have something to do with your family, such as the names of family members and words such as family, togetherness, aunt, uncle, cousin, or unity.

3. You might make a wooden plaque for Thanksgiving that simply reads “Give Thanks” and have all the children and grandchildren’s names hung from it. Or you could make and hang wooden carved pilgrim girls and boys and paint them to depict the different members of the family.

4. Several years ago, we began using a special tablecloth for our Thanksgiving meal. It was a cloth signed by every family member. When a grandchild turns three, he or she gets to add his or her name to the others. (By that time they can usually write the letters of their name and draw a little picture without too much difficulty.) We don’t worry about the writing being uniform or neat and tidy. The important thing is that all our names are there and that everyone is included.

5. When you count your blessings, it puts everything else in perspective. At our Thanksgiving gathering, each person at the table takes a turn saying what they are thankful for. Sometimes we distribute pieces of candy corn, giving each participant a piece of candy for every blessing they mention. We haven’t intended to initiate a spiritual discussion, but it is amazing how often it turns out that way once you begin enumerating your blessings. [If you don’t like the idea of adding more sugar to the holiday festivities, consider giving a penny for every blessing the participant mentions.]

I took these ideas from my book The LDS Grandparents’ Idea Book, published by Deseret Book. Above I said, “Each idea is presented from a different individual.” Here’s a little insider information. There are about 400 ideas in that book. I asked around 50 successful grandparents for their suggestions. To expand the book to 400 ideas, I used my imagination and put down things I would love to do with my family. Of course, when planning activities, every set of grandparents must take into account the likes and dislikes of family members. Some of the activities I would love to do with my grandchildren for various reasons just simply will not work. Others have been a great success. The grandchildren’s ages, the unity of the family, and the family culture all have to be considered. Looking back, some of the ideas that wouldn’t work for our family at the time I wrote the book may be perfect to use now.

Read more guest Granny articles from Fay:

Day 1 11/09/2015
Day 2 11/10/2015
Day 3 11/11/2015

Day 4 11/12/2015
Day 5 11/13/2015
Day 6 11/14/2015
Day 7 11/15/2015

Thank you, Fay, for that lovely article. Surely these are fantastic ideas for mothers and fathers too. Of course you'll need a scrapbook freebie to record your fabulous day with family members.

DOWNLOAD HERE

Commercial Use requires a Scrapgraphics.Com commercial use license.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Day 1 with Fay: Grandparents Giving Children a Sense of Belonging

As we age, it becomes more natural to look back on our lives and hope we have been a positive influence in our families. The interesting part about a person’s legacy is that it can live on way beyond the years of mortality—the retelling of stories, the values exemplified, slogans or mottoes consistently expressed, the lessons of love tenderly taught . . .

For seven wonderful days, starting today, GrannyEnchanted.com will present mini-articles, sharing ideas for influencing grandchildren young and old—ideas that can make a long-lasting difference in the lives of our grandchildren and posterity. These mini-articles are written by award-winning author Fay A. Klingler (http://www.fayklingler.com/ ). Along with each idea, GrannyEnchanted.com will offer a free digi paper each day of this seven-day series. Enjoy!

1. Provide personal recognition
Properly identifying grandchildren will increase their sense of value and belonging. Medical evidence proves that hearing one’s own name has unique, positive brain functioning. If you find yourself in a situation where it is not appropriate to call out a grandchild’s name or to visit out loud (like at a program or performance where only quiet is acceptable), look for an opportunity to extend a touch—brief hug, arm squeeze, pat on the back or, at the very least, significant eye contact—some form of personal recognition.

The need to touch and be touched doesn’t change with age. If anything, it seems to increase, according to many Christian psychologists. Research has substantiated the need for infants to receive ample cuddling, physical soothing, hugs, and kisses. This need is basic for proper mental and physical growth. It is believed that the baby’s future capacity to express tenderness through physical affection can be related to the quality of physical affection received during the early years.

Hugging and kissing our young grandchildren comes naturally. As children age, their need for independence intensifies, and their requirement for privacy develops. Although the tactile experience is essential for healthy development, older grandchildren may withdraw from a hug just to show they have an identity apart from others. Yet supplying their need for touch may give them the reassurance needed—the reassurance that they are connected to a family who really cares.

Look for occasions when a touch feels appropriate for you. A touch can say, “I care,” “I like you,” “I love you,” “I understand.”

Calling grandchildren by name and providing appropriate touch will increase their self-esteem and feed their hunger for personal recognition and physical contact. Keeping these channels of communication open between you and your grandchildren (combined with verbal praise and affection) will enrich your family relationships and help your grandchildren to become more loving and successful in all their human relationships.

Read more guest Granny articles from Fay:

Day 1 11/09/2015
Day 2 11/10/2015
Day 3 11/11/2015

Day 4 11/12/2015
Day 5 11/13/2015
Day 6 11/14/2015
Day 7 11/15/2015

In celebration of our Guest Granny extraordinaire, Fay Klingler, we will be featuring a freebie each day she shares an article with us!

DOWNLOAD HERE

Commercial Use requires a Scrapgraphics.Com commercial use license.